My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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