I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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