Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
