i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
