I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize