At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
