I think my vagina is haunted
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
