i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
