it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
