I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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