I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
