google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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