i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
