Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
