I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We left an ass print on the piano.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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