What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
