Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
