im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
