Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
