haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
