Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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