I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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