420 ftw
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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