ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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