I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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