i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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