Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
