So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
