Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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