There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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