if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
