i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
