STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
