Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
