That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
