I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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