I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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