I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
