doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
