Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
why is half of my head shaved?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
