she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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