it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize