bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want nice things and good sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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