ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
