I smell stomach acid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
