come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
