That's when you crack a 10am beer
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
