btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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