I CAN MOONWALK!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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