i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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