The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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