physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
