I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you would pick up someone in the library
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
