college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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