guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
