so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
