I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
