id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
