Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
