FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
