I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
