K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
