In the future we'll all be gay
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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