so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
