8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
